Perhaps you’ve seen this statement floating around the
internet. Maybe you’ve read it on Facebook or a blog, or someone showed it to
you. It is interesting, succinct and engaging. It is also almost entirely inaccurate.
Let’s break it down.
“Jesus was a radical nonviolent revolutionary who hung around with
lepers, hookers and crooks; wasn’t American and never spoke English;”
Okay, I could be nitpicky, but this line is basically true.
“was anti-wealth,”
Nowhere does it describe Jesus as anti-wealth. In fact, he
often spoke of money and the need to use it well for the kingdom, but never
condemned wealth. He certainly opposed treating money as an idol. He himself received
gold at his birth and was financially supported by a number of wealthy women in
particular (Luke 8:1-3).
“anti-death penalty,”
Nope. Jesus spoke about personal non-retaliation in the Sermon
on the Mount, or against hypocritical and vigilante justice concerning the woman who
was to be stoned for adultery, neither of which oppose the death penalty
imposed by the State. The insurrectionist on the cross next to Jesus said, “We
are punished justly, but this man has done nothing wrong.” Jesus doesn’t
correct him, but offers him grace. Jesus affirms the authority of the Old
Testament which allows for capital punishment.
“and even anti-public prayer (Matthew 6:5);”
Sorry, Matthew 6 is not a blanket prohibition against public
prayer, but is contextually prohibiting showing off when we pray. Jesus himself
prayed in public, and he calls his people to pray together, “Our Father, who
art in heaven.”
“but was never anti-gay,”
It is true that Jesus is not anti-anyone. However, he does
define marriage in a discussion with the Pharisees on divorce: ““Have you not
read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and
said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to
his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but
one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt
19:4-6).
“never mentioned abortion or birth control,”
Why would he mention abortion? It was already understood to
be murder in his context. Jesus condemns murder and that should be enough to
cover abortion. Birth control is not a sin, so there is no need for him to
condemn it.
“never called the poor lazy, never justified torture, never fought for
tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes, never asked a leper for a copay;”
Reading modern issues into a first-century figure is just
plain silly. Jesus never spoke about the internet, smart phones or satellites
either. Looking at his teaching, he commends work “Jesus answered them, ‘My
Father is working until now, and I am working’” (John 5:17). Turn it around and
it is also true, “Jesus never called the rich lazy, never condemned torture,
never fought for tax increases for the wealthiest Nazarenes, never said we
shouldn’t ask for a copay for healthcare.”
“and was a long haired, brown-skinned, homeless community-organizing,”
No on the first, whatever on the second and heck no on the
third. There is no evidence Jesus had long-hair. He was a Middle Eastern Jew
and looked like it, whether you call that brown-skinned is a matter of opinion
I suppose. It is irrelevant. And he was far more than a homeless
community-organizer. What does that even mean? Is he organizing the homeless
community, or is he homeless and community-organizing? Either way, this misses
who he was and what he has come to do. He came as a Savior, not a community
organizer for some social or political end.
“anti-slut-shaming Middle Eastern Jew.”
First, Jesus would probably not use the derogatory term “slut”
or “slut-shaming.” I think he would see that as demeaning and unnecessary. Second,
his focus was not on being anti-anyone, but was on proclaiming grace to all
sinners, including the sexually immoral.
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